It may have been a rumor.

Well, word has it that Guys Day On The Boat may not be so gender specific. And in all honesty, if it was and the planners knew that I'd be upset, I know they'd change it.

I don't want to rant and rave about it, but this gender thing sucks for women.

Here's my personal side of the story.

Women equate their success (just as men do) by what they're worth -- either monitarily or socially. When she gives birth, all of the sudden she's supposed to sacrifice, not only her time, but her perceived worth for the sake of her child. Our latch-key generation says loudly and clearly that staying at home and raising your kids is the right way to go. (And to some degree it is)

So here's this mom who, prior to having a baby, was successful. And for the first 3 months she's OK with staying home and changing diapers etc. etc. She's OK for the first 8 months until she notices something. Lack of respect. People regard her as "lower". If she didn't stay home they'd think "What a terrible mother. DAYCARE!!" But upon staying home they think of her as a different breed.

If I don't write this next part, to follow would be a barrage of comments "No Elis. It's not true. " But in advance, I challenge you. Never will any reader admit to losing intellectual respect for me since mothering, but truly think about other mothers you know. Stay-at-home moms. My feelings were very different before I had a baby. Even women I've worked with over the years. When I learned they had kids, some element in my approach changed just a little bit.

So onto my gripe. Our culture expects far, FAR too much from women.
Women are expected to:

Get a good job
Get paid well
Marry a rich man
or Marry a handsome man
Dress well
Be thin
Stay young looking
Have babies
Stay at home and raise them
Remember birthdays thank you cards etc. etc.,
Cook dinner
Clean the house
(you can continue the list)

That's too much in one lifetime. This gigantic barrier that exists between men and women doesn't really exist. Mike and I are SO SO different, and I'm in love with him because of it. But I'm really, really different from my friend Chris too. I'm different from Jessica in a lot of the ways I'm different from Mike. I'm like Colin in so, so many ways.

Gender has something to do with these differences, but not as much as we act like it does.

I'm tired friends. I'm particularly tired of myself. I cannot believe I am feeling this brand of "22 and hurt by a guy" feminism that was "My life" 10 years ago. Truly, it's being near my parents "old-school" way of doing things and not having any base or model. Forgive me if I'm overly sensitive. No seriously. Please know that I'm in this place and don't be offended by my high sensitivity.

If my old roomate Kyle were reading this she'd say "Hey Elis! No problem. It's an EGR situation". And I'd ask "What's that?" She'd say "Extra Grace Required".

I miss Kyle.