i like to tell stories.
Real ones, of course, but often embellished real ones. Not to say I'm lying. I'm usually not. Time makes colors more vibrant in my world, and the listener gets to see them.

All that to tell the story, (uncolored by time) of my day.

Woke up.
Dropped
Went to gym.
Bought cards and groceries
Ana took Emmett to Gymboree
Wrote cards.
Vacummed the house.
Ana came home.
Struggled to get Emmett to sleep.
Ate dinner at my parents where my Uncle Nick was visiting.
Struggled to get Emmett to sleep.
This has been going on until now.

Emmett didn't take a nap today. Usually he takes two.

Staying at home with Emmett is making me into a feminist...a position I never thought I'd revisit. I am VERY touchy about getting Mike anything and about any expectations put onto me. And tonight at my parents, I nearly snapped.

When Mike came in they said "Your wife will take care of you" and I was expected to serve Mike dinner, which I swallowed my pride and did since really, he did just come in. But when I put the food down, they demanded that I put the food at a different place so he'd be more "comfortable". I snapped at them and illustrated my position by bowing to Mike. "he's the provider!" They said. "Serve him!". I just looked at them like they were crazy. Then, they began to say "Where's his napkin! Where's his drink!" I tried to let it roll off my back but it was tough to say the least. After dinner, I helped my mom by doing the dishes and Mike came in to help too. My mother said "No Mike. You just came in from work. This isn't your job". I was like "Mom. Don't make me cringe. We're liberals". She ended up butting out of it, realizing that we don't do things the backward way.

So if you don't know, this is the biggest fear my parents have. That Mike and I are "liberals". They are in love with GWB and are supportive of the war. Mike and I tread very lightly (particularly me), but I DO NOT like this war and I DO NOT LIKE what it's done. I would not vote for Bush...although I don't think Kerry is much better. I will not vote but if I did, it would be democrat. There. I said it.

Big deal you think.
Really, if I were to bring that up in my parents house, my father would turn red, get sharp and veins would pop out of his neck. He would accuse me of not being a Christian for it. To him, there are no opinions. He is right and that is it. That's how my parents think about politics.

I need to be around peers because I'm starting to sell out. I'm alone in the way I am so, depressed, I'm doing things the way my parents do them. But it's not who I am and it's punching my spirit.

I am not a homemaker. I stay at home with Emmett. I work all day too.

Having said allthis, I've decided to get my Master's Degree and I'm looking into it. At the same time, my mother may go back for her Undergraduate which I think will do amazing things for her. That is my only hope right now. I so, so confused about everything. I miss being happy all the time. I'm happy when I'm with Emmett, but outside of that, it's completely unpredictable.