My heart is breaking.

Dear Emmett,

I have put you down for a nap. You're so tired, but we've had such a gentle and enjoyable morning, that this part is so hard. I decided today, since I"m sure that you're tired, that I'm not going to come in when you start crying. That you need to learn to fall asleep whether you want to or not. And you are crying so loudly, so passionately and you keep saying "momma". And I'm crying becasue I want so badly to come in and get you and rock you to sleep. I feel like I'm betraying you because I can hear you. Its everything in me to not give in. Every time your exhausted cries weaken, relief comes over me that it may finally be over, but it never seems to be. 10 minutes is lasting an eternity.