I hate my fucking life.

And I really, REALLY don't like the role I'm forced to play in my family. I don't like my family. I don't like what they expect me to be. I don't like being a black sheep when in reality, it's because I'm among black sheep. I don't feel like doing anything with them.

I need to complain. I need to bitch. I've been so patient for so long. I've been biting my tongue, trying to "accept" things for longer than I can bear. I HATE LIVING IN AVONDALE. I am not getting along with my mother. I hate the country. And I feel like I've gone as far away from them as I can get, and they're HERE REMINDING ME OF HOW THEY DON'T HELP WITH EMMETT.

Sorry to anyone reading this. I haven't written in so long and this is where I'm at.